Burnt Inside
by DianaMaslowx
Summary: There isn't that much to do when the one you're in love with has no idea of your secret.
1. Chapter 1

"I don't care if I have to! I don't want to, and you can't make me!"

"Logan, it's over, we have to move to LA."

"But I want to stay in Minnesota!"

"You'll meet new friends in LA! You always complain about having no friends here."

"I don't care now!"

"Just stop, we are leaving right this instant. It's not changing, got it? Now get in the car already!"

"Fine," Logan whined under his breath, while throwing himself in the car. "I'm going to hate this."

Logan finally stepped out of the LAX Airport, entering a climate in which he was not used to all year round - warm, welcoming, and relaxing, unlike Minnesota, which had sometimes the most revolting weather you could ever dream of.

He still felt out of place. It was probably just normal, since he had just arrived in a totally unknown place to him, especially since the only place he had to compare it to was Minnesota.

As he looked to the right, he saw a man in a fancy suit holding that said 'Mitchell' on it.

"Mom, what is that?"

"That's for our ride, Logie Bear."

"What ride? What will we be riding in?"

"A limo, silly."

Logan felt stupid. Of course his mom would be treating him like this, just because she wanted him to think he would be treated amazing in LA, therefore making him like the city.

It was going to be a rough night.

"Come on, Logan! Wake up, you don't want to be late for your first day of your new high school!"

Logan groaned as he slumped out of his new bedroom, heading towards the bathroom, for a shower.

He quickly stepped into the steaming hot water, letting out a slight moan as it slowly streamed down his body. He then quickly washed his hair and body, and then got out.

He dried his hair fixed it up and slid on a quickly put together outfit - blue sweater vest, blue jeans, and black boots.

"Logan, no time to eat, car, now!" his mom yelled, running out the door.

Logan followed a short distance behind her, reaching the car a few seconds after she had. She started the car right after he stepped in, and they were soon speeding their way towards his new school.

"I'm scared." Logan admitted.

He got no response, just a large sigh from her, which made him worry about nothing.

"We're here." she said, stopping in the parking lot.

Logan peeked out the window, surprised to see a normal looking high school, like the one he had gone to in Minnesota. Of course he wasn't expecting this, he was more expecting something very fancy and cleaned up well. Complete opposite.

"I love you mom, bye."

"Don't worry Logan, please." she worried. "Try to get through the day?"

He nodded, shutting the door of his mom's car. He stood, watching her drive away, till he couldn't see it anymore.

He turned himself around, and strutted through the doors of his new high school.

Him being the new kid, he was getting many stares. It felt to Logan like they were burning through if, making him less confident, and scared of everything and everyone who laid eyes on him.

Trying to ignore it, he finally got to his locker. He always had trouble with the locks, but this time was different, he actually got it on the first try. Shaking it off, he opened the locker and organized his books and such.

He could still feel the stares coming from everyone who passed, even though his face was stuffed inside his locker.

"_I'm not ready for this."_ Logan whispered to himself, shutting his locker.

While taking in a huge breath of fresh air, he rotated himself so he was looking down the hallway, and becoming face to face with people he didn't want to be face to face with.

Fear struck his nerves, and he shivered a little, taking his first steps through that hallway, toward the cafeteria.

He got a few hello's and laughs directed at him on the way, but he was otherwise safe. And since he had made no friends, he was forced to sit at an empty lunch table at the side of the room.

He silently ate his lunch at his lonely lunch table. Nobody even bothered to come and welcome him to the school, or try to say anything to him. That included the people who looked like they really wanted to. They just didn't, and Logan hadn't understood why.

He was just about ready to start bawling his eyes out from the pain, until he made full contact with the most beautiful green eyes he had ever seen. He needed to meet him. But who would want to talk to the newbie?


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: This is where the Kenlos kind of starts up a bit. I don't really have much to say.**

**Just enjoy, I guess?**

* * *

"Looks like Kendork has got a crush on the newbie!" Kendall sighed. "Shut up James, no I don't he looked at me first." It wasn't a complete lie.

"Why don't we go give him a _welcoming _speech?" Carlos said, emphasising the sarcastic 'welcoming'. James and Kendall nodded and promptly approached Logan at his empty table.

"Hey!" James started. "I'm James, this is Carlos and Kendall, and who are you?"

He slowly turned his head upward to them. "Um, hi. I'm L-Logan." he stuttered which Kendall thought was adorable. Logan managed a smile to them, it wasn't the greatest smile, but it was worth something.

"Well we just wanted to tell you," Carlos added, leaning toward Logan, "you look like a nerd, and we know that nobody likes you here." Kendall could see the pain in Logan's eyes as James and Carlos stood there laughing their butts off.

Tears began to form in Logan's eyes, and before he started crying rivers, he got up and ran out of the cafeteria.

"Nice one, Carlitos!" congratulated James. "Why aren't you laughing Kendall?"

"Huh? Oh, I was just thinking."

James nodded and waved his hand towards Kendall and Carlos to go back to their table. Of course, Kendall had other plans.

"I need to do something, I'll see you guy's later." he said, jogging in the direction that Logan had ran towards.

xX

Logan was devastated. He was laughed at the group that his new crush was in. He was now in tears, and sitting in front of his locker, bawling his eyes out, like expected by him.

"You okay?" a voice said from beside him.

He turned to see the beautiful green eyes - Kendall - sitting right next to him, asking if he was okay.

"N-no..."

Kendall sighed and placed his head on his legs and thought for a minute. He finally raised his head and spoke, looking into Logan's eyes. "Look, I'm sorry about my friends. They just like messing with people. I usually would, but it felt different this time, you know?" Logan nodded, speechless.

Kendall had gone on and on explaining himself, and his two friends James and Carlos. He quickly learned that those two were not the nicest people. That included Kendall, though he wasn't nearly as bad as the others.

"Sorry that I won't shut up, I should get going. I have Art class." he said, getting up. Jumping up behind him, Logan realized something. "Wait, I have Art too!" Kendall turned and smiled. "Really? Sweet, well then let's go!"

The walk to class was silent, but Kendall enjoyed it very much. And as soon as they entered the class, the teacher placed them into groups to make up a band name and a banner.

"Last group, Kendall Knight, James Diamond, Carlos Garcia, and Logan Mitchell. Go ahead."

Logan felt a pat on his shoulder, no; make that two, two pats. "You didn't tell us we had Art class together, Logan." James smirked. "This is going to be fun."

Kendall and Logan looked at each other and Kendall sent him the _i'm sorry, i totally forgot _look. Logan shrugged it off like it was nothing.

But what he was really thinking was a totally different story, more like, "_Why me, why now? Kill me, just do it now. I'm done. Why don't a just go shove myself off a cliff? Why am I being placed in a living nightmare, my worst nightmare?"_

"James, cut it out, let's just get to work." Kendall exhaled.

"Oh, how cute, is Kendall standing up for Logan?" James snickered.

"No, we just need to get to work already."

No? That word had just broken Logan's heart. It seemed like just ten minutes ago Kendall had cared enough to pour everything out to him. That means something, right?

James swept it away and got straight to work. "Okay, band name; Big Time Rush."

"I like it." Carlos admitted. "You guys?" he gestured towards Kendall and Logan.

"Perfect." Kendall replied.

Logan being his shy self nodded, very slightly, but enough for Carlos and James to know that it was a yes. That wasn't only because he didn't want to deny them because they might hurt him. He actually liked the name.

"Class is over, you know the drill; you must work at home with your group." The teacher yelled.

"Right, meet me at my house at seven o'clock tonight. Logan, here's my address. Be on time." James ordered, handing him a folded piece of paper that held his address on it.

Logan nodded as James and Carlos strutted out of the class together, leaving just Kendall awkwardly standing beside him.

"Shouldn't you be with him?" Logan questioned.

"No, I just live down the road on Walkway Avenue, not too far away."

Logan was shocked. "Really? I live there too! Number twenty-six."

"Thirty. I guess we'll be walking together?"

Logan nodded and followed him out of the classroom and the school, and they began to walk home together. This of course made both of the boys smile.

Logan because he had finally seemed to have made a friend, even though it wasn't even the greatest day at school for him. Meaning it could have been better. But he wasn't one to complain about actually making a friend. He was surprised he had actually socialized with someone.

Kendall was happy because he felt somewhat drawn to Logan, like he was the one he needed to be nice to. There was some connection he felt like him and Logan had, and he needed to experiment with what it was.

They were starting to get close to their houses, and they still hadn't associated with each other. Until Kendall decided to speak up. "Do you feel intimidated by James and Carlos?"

"What?" Logan said with a very confused look on his face.

"I mean, are you like scared when you are around them? You seemed pretty nervous if you were to ask me."

"I don't usually receive that kind of hate when I go to a new school." Kendall turned and looked into Logan's eyes. He could just sense the pain and hatred he was feeling, just by looking into his chocolate eyes.

Kendall quickly turned away from Logan before it turned into something he wouldn't be up for. He wanted him to feel accepted and know that Kendall was his actual friend, but he didn't want any attachments, just incase he accidentally hurt Logan.

"This is my house, I guess I'll see you at James' house later?" Logan asked. Kendall nodded and waved a goodbye as he walked a few houses down and stepped inside his house.

xX

Logan arrived at the address that James had given him that he claimed was his address. Looking at the house, it was pretty believable, considering the type of person James had seemed to be.

He walked up to the main entrance and knocked. The door was answered right away by James, and Logan could see Kendall and Carlos in the background beginning to work on their banner.

"Impressive, you're right on time. Come in!" James welcomed him, gesturing to the inside of his house, to where the other guys were waiting for him.

Logan nervously smiled and walked towards the other guys, who looked up with smiles as he approached them.

"Hey bud!" Carlos greeted, leaving Logan with a confused look on his face, but shook it off, turning toward Kendall next. "Hey." Logan smiled back, just before James spoke up.

"Enough chatting, if we want to get this finished, we better start working, just be glad it's Friday!"

xX

"If you're leaving, me and James are walking you home!" Carlos whined. Logan and Kendall laughed at how sad he looked, which was like a puppy.

"Fine, let's go." Kendall invited.

They all stepped out the door and began to walk to Kendall and Logan's street. And it seemed like every walk Logan was on that day was completely silent, and filled with awkwardness.

They took another way to their street, so they ended up at Kendall's house first. And as soon as Kendall went inside his house, the other guys started talking.

"Are you okay, dude? You seem nervous." James worried.

Logan gulped and decided to actually say the truth instead of lying about what he really wanted to say to him. "Well, I thought you guys didn't like me, considering what you did to me at lunch."

"Just because we were mean once, doesn't mean we can't be nice." Carlos chuckled.

"Wait, why start talking after Kendall leaves?" Logan questioned.

James and Carlos turned and looked at each other with worry in their eyes. "Well we've been meaning to tell you, we just didn't know the right time. It's something Kendall told us before you came."

* * *

**_Don't you just love cliffhangers?_**

**_Don't forget to review!_**

**_What do you think they are telling Logan?_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: When I said Kenlos last chapter, I meant Kogan. That's embarrassing. **

**But anyways I hope you guys are enjoying this. It already has 9 reviews! Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this! It means a lot!**

**Now enough of my blabbering, enjoy chapter three!**

"Wait, what do you mean you told him?" Kendall worried.

"We mean exactly what we said, Kendall." Carlos sighed.

Kendall wasn't sure how to react. They had told Logan a huge secret, but it wasn't like he wouldn't find out eventually. But he just wasn't ready for him to know now. It had only been one day since they had all met Logan, and it was all coming too fast.

"Well, how did he react?" Kendall asked the only question that came to his mind.

James turned to Carlos, and Kendall could see them bite their lips. "He looked nervous, scared actually." Kendall frowned. "Does that mean he is afraid of me?"

"We don't know that Kendall. Only time will tell. Besides, this has probably never happened to him, we need to let it sink it. We can't just shove it in his face and keep bugging him about it." James replied. "Yeah, Kendall." Carlos added. "Don't worry about it buddy, we're here for you."

"But I feel like I already ruined what could have been." Kendall sighed. "What will I do?"

"Like James said," Carlos continued, "only time will tell."

xX

Logan walked directly to the guy's washroom in the school and locked the door behind him so he could quietly think to himself.

He slowly approached the mirror and looked up from the sink to come face to face with his reflection. That caused him to just stand there and sigh.

"Why? Why do I have to go through all of this and this is only my second day here?" Logan complained to himself. "It's not my fault though. Well it kind of is. If I didn't talk to them in the first place, or told the teacher I wasn't comfortable with my group, I could have gotten out of this. I could have no problems right now. I could be free and be currently having a good time. I could get away from all of this."

Logan looked up at himself again. "But it's all too late."

He could feel his eyes starting to tear up, so he quickly wiped away the tears and left the washroom. The hallways were crowded. Logan quietly said a thank you to himself - now it would be easy to get through the hallways without being noticed by anyone he didn't want to be noticed by.

He started casually walking with the crowd of people, trying to get to his second class. All was going well until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Logan turned around to see Kendall holding up the crowd behind him.

"Logan, what did I do wrong?" Kendall said, choking on his own words, trying to hold back a river of tears you could easily tell was coming.

But Logan didn't care. He pushed Kendall away from him, forcing Kendall's tears out so he was crying rivers. He was mad at everything. Nobody had given him time to think. They just bombarded him with questions. It was just too much for him to handle. And he didn't like it one bit.

xX

"Mr. Mitchell?"

"Hmm?" Logan responded, noting he was partially day-dreaming.

"Square root of 169?" the teacher asked him.

"Oh, um, thirteen?"

"Nice save, but pay attention next time."

"Sorry." Logan responded, sarcastically.

It was too hard to pay attention. He just needed the last minute of class to pass by and he would have the whole lunch period to think. But he just couldn't believe that what James and Carlos told him was true.

_"I swear I'll do anything that I have to, 'til I forget about you."_ Logan sung to himself. And he suddenly knew exactly what to do.

**_BRRRRRRRRRRRIIINNNNNNGGGGGGG GGG!_**

The bell went and the students, including Logan flooded the hallways, towards the cafeteria. Logan being the one behind all of them was the center of attention for about 5 seconds because he walked into the cafeteria by himself.

Once again like yesterday he decided to sit by himself. He still wasn't up for socializing just yet. But he knew what he was doing.

He quickly finished his lunch and went into the hallway and leaned against the lockers. Just as he was doing so, he heard footsteps, and turned to once again see Kendall walking up to him.

"I'm sorry Logan. I'm sorry that I'm in love with your gorgeous brown eyes. I'm sorry I'm in love with your perfectly styled hair. I'm sorry I'm in love with you. I don't know what else to be sorry for Logan."

Logan stayed silent as they both stared into each other's eyes. Kendall couldn't take it anymore, and he just gave up. "I'm sorry I tried, I'll just leave you be." Kendall tried walking away until Logan latched onto his hips and dragged him into the closet beside them, locking the door behind them.

"What are you" Logan stopped Kendall from speaking as he crashed his lips onto Kendall's perfectly shaped lips.

Kendall was scared at first but he couldn't help but be joyful and strongly kiss back. Logan's tongue was fighting against Kendall's strong lips, asking for an invite into his mouth. Kendall gladly accepted the invitation and let Logan's tongue slide in.

Logan violently squeezed Kendall's hips and pulled their chests closer and closer each second. Logan ran his hand up Kendall's back, causing Kendall to moan.

"Logan!" Kendall whined, using the last bit of oxygen he had left.

When they were finished, Logan whispered seductively into Kendall's ear, "I'm not sorry I loved this." He walked out of the closet, leaving Kendall alone and stunned by what Logan had just did to him.

"What just happened?" Kendall questioned himself. "Did I, did I turn Logan gay?"

xX

School was finally over and Logan was behind the school thinking about what had just happened. Did he make a huge mistake? He didn't think it through.

Sure from the beginning he loved Kendall's eyes, but he didn't want to 'get with' him or anything at that time. But now it was all mixed messages. Yes? No? He was confused.

Not knowing what to do, Logan broke down in tears and slid down the side of the school. He just knew he wasn't straight anymore. What if his mom didn't except him and kicked him out of the house? He was worried.

"Dude, what's wrong?" Logan heard James' voice from in front of him.

Logan looked up and saw James looking down on him with a worried look on his face. He sat down beside Logan and slowly rubbed circles on his back, trying to calm him down.

"I think I'm gay, and I'm worried about everything."

"Kendall told us what happened, and don't worry, we won't tell anyone, that kind of stuff is private, and we've all been in too many situations like that to know that it doesn't end well." James chuckled. "What are you worried about?"

Logan sniffled and sat up a little bit. "I'm not sure what I'll do after today. What happens when I tell my mom and she doesn't accept my sexuality? I've never had a conversation with her about any of that stuff. She wouldn't expect it out of me. It just doesn't seem like me." he wiped away tears before James could notice he was starting to cry again. "What about Kendall? I don't even know how he felt about what I did to him."

"Well," James started. "Carlos and I can easily tell that he likes you like that. He was worried about how you felt about what you did and if you regretted it."

"That's the problem; I don't know what I think about it."

"There's just one other thing I needed to tell you."

"And that is what?"

"Kendall can sometimes get attached in relationships. But I'm sure if you guys do end up getting together that he will let you on easy, he knows that you're unsure about some things." James admitted.

"That's interesting. Well whatever, I won't worry about it then."

xX

"Oh, Logan you're home!" his mom yelled from the kitchen, which Logan walked in to. "Mom, can we talk?" Logan tensed.

"Sweetie what's wrong?" she turned and sat on the other side of the island.

He had to tell her what happened. Not everything, just small details. He had to tell her that he was gay. He just didn't know how. Because he was too scared of what her response would be. But this wasn't going to be a secret he would hide. He was going to let it out, no matter what the consequences were.

"I- I think I'm gay, mom." he admitted.

She just sat and thought for a few seconds, which felt like hours to Logan. He was getting worried.

"When did you find this out?" she questioned, not sounding and bit angry.

"Well, today. Do you want to know how?"

She politely nodded, allowing Logan to tell his story.

"Well you know Kendall, the guy who lives a few doors down right? Well his friends Carlos and James told me that he liked me. I wasn't sure what to think. I tried avoiding him, but it didn't work. I shoved him away from me, which made him cry. Then while I was standing in the hallway during the lunch period he came up to me, I lost it. I looked into his green eyes and I couldn't control myself. I kissed him. Then I talked to James after school about it, and he knew what happened. He told me not to worry, and that it would be fine if I was gay. That it would be fine to get together with Kendall. That's what happened mom."

She didn't respond, she just sat and stared at Logan blankly. "Are you mad at me mom?"

She let out a small laugh. "Of course I'm not mad at you Logie-bear! If that is going to be your sexuality, I'm not going to force you out of it. If you like Kendall, I don't care. It's your life, not mine. As long as you are happy with your decision, I'm happy."

Logan smiled a little at her response. He didn't have to be scared. "Thanks."

"In fact, why don't you go down to Kendall's house right now? Dinner won't be ready for a while. And I bet he will be really happy about your decision."

He nodded and headed out the door down to Kendall's house. He went up on the deck and stared at the door. Was he ready to do this?

He took a step closer and knocked on the door. The door opened immediately by Kendall's mother. She had a huge smile on her face when she looked at Logan.

"Hi Mrs. Knight, I'm here to see Kendall." Logan declared.

"Come right in Logan, I'll get him!" she cheered.

When he stepped inside, he took a seat on the couch. It was a very fancy house with marble counters and tiles on the ground in the kitchen. It was very white and clean, which was not expected, if you saw Kendall's locker.

When Logan looked up from his lap, he saw a girl staring at him on the other couch. She looked what, thirteen? He wasn't his age anyway.

"Hi, you must be Logan, I'm Katie, Kendall's sister." she spoke. "You just moved in like three days ago or something?"

"Yeah, I did." Logan responded. She smiled and went back to playing her D.S., and it looked like she had completely muted out everything around her, which made Logan slightly laugh.

He looked away from her and was still waited for Kendall to come out of his room. But he didn't blame him for being slow, considering what happened at school. Logan wasn't the fastest person ever to walk to this house, even though it was only a few houses over from his.

"Hey." Logan looked up to see Kendall looking at him. "Do you want to go talk down at the park?"

"Sure."

xX

Once they got to the empty park they sat down on the two swings and started slowly swinging back and forth. It was silent for a while because neither of them was sure what to say to each other.

It was like that until Logan decided to finally break the awkward silence between the two of them.

"After school, I was thinking about what happened and I came to a conclusion." he stopped and gulped. "I'm gay, and it's for you."

Kendall turned towards him, unsure of what to say. "So what does that mean then?" Logan looked into his eyes and shrugged.

Kendall pushed himself closer to Logan and pecked his lips. Logan tried to help himself from blushing, but he couldn't. "I made you blush!" Kendall exclaimed.

"Yeah, you did." Logan chuckled in embarrassment.

They made their way over to the park bench so they could be closer to each other. Kendall laid his head on Logan's shoulder and sighed.

"Logan." Kendall whined, poking his chest. "Hmm?"

Kendall was bugging to ask Logan two certain questions, and it seemed like they were having a moment. Both of them looked very happy and he knew it was a good time to ask him the questions.

"Logie, do you love me?" Kendall babyishly asked.

"Of course I do, Kenny." Logan foolishly responded.

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

"Forever Kenny. And I'll never let go."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **I haven't updated in a while and I completely rushed through this and I am aware it's not as long as last chapter, but it's something. This is sort of different, but I hope you enjoy. This one might not make sense to you though. It'll explain next chapter, no worries. ENJOY!

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognizable, which includes BTR. I only own any and all of the OCs that have been added to the story. You know the drill. I haven't done this yet so.**

* * *

"Bye James! Bye Carlos! I'm going to hang out with Logan!" Kendall screamed from downstairs.

"Haven't you hung with him over thirty times this week already?" Carlos whined. "Just stay here for once, Logan would understand! You see him every day at school anyways."

Kendall laughed, "I see you guys at school every day too. Your argument is invalid." He walked out the front door of James' house and closed it behind him.

When James was sure Kendall wasn't coming back or couldn't hear him and Carlos anymore, he blurted out, "ATTACHMENT ISSUED KENDALL! Carlitos, I told you this would happen!"

Carlos just sat and laughed at James. He always thought James never let Kendall sink into any relationship. Kendall would never get a chance to prove anything to James, because they would get scared away. And as soon as Carlos told James that, he actually thought about it. "Fine then," he didn't even try to argue with Carlos because he knew that he was right.

He needed to start giving Kendall a chance to get into a relationship with someone instead of butting in the middle of it.

But sometimes it could be a good thing to do so.

xX

"Logan, if you aren't comfortable going, we don't have to." Kendall hesitated.

Logan took a step forward and took a breath. "No, I'm fine with going and getting ice cream with you, even though there is a group of jocks that look that they're looking for a couple like us." he took a step back again.

"We don't have to, I know you aren't used to this or coming out."

"I can do this, let's go already!" he locked his fingers around Kendall's hand and dragged him toward the ice cream stand, ignoring all the jocks awkwardly staring at them.

Once they got their ice cream cones, they took a seat at an empty picnic table beside the stand. They silently sat and ate until someone ruined their moment.

"Looks like Kendall's got a new fuck buddy I see?" one jock said. "Oh, and it's the new guy? Smooth one Knight."

"Leave him alone David." Kendall demanded.

"Whoa, Knight is being over protective! This new boy must have just come out f the closet!" he turned towards Logan. "You could have done better. You aren't even attractive, so I'm surprised you have a boyfriend."

David turned back to his friends and started to laugh with them. They made more nasty jokes to Logan that just stuck on his skin. He could not think of anything else other than them.

He could feel the tears forming in his eyes and Kendall must have noticed them too.

"David, shut up."

They all turned to see Logan standing up right beside David. He had a look of pain and anger in his face. Tears were busy streaming down his cheeks, but Logan wasn't focused on them. He was too mad to care.

"So you can talk then? You don't want Knight to come and protect you?"

At that point Logan had lost it and the next thing he knew, his fist was slamming against David's jaw. David fell to the ground in pain, holding his jaw for a few seconds before standing up once again.

"You really didn't think that through, kid." David lifted up his large hand and forced it right in the middle of Logan's stomach.

Logan fell to the ground, thriving in pain. He was trying to scream for help. Nothing came out because he was crying and the pain had caused him to lose his voice to the point where it was only air coming out.

Finally getting the courage and strength, Logan tried standing up until David harshly hit his foot against his jaw. He fell once again while his mouth was sending out blood like it was a second Niagara Falls.

His vision started going blurry and he last heard Kendall yell to David, "You messed with the wrong guy this time, David!"

xX

When Logan woke, he was in an unknown bedroom. He turned to his right and saw Kendall sitting on the ground waiting for him to finally wake up.

Kendall turned and saw Logan's eyes open. He quickly pulled him in for a long hug. "I thought you'd never wake up! You were out for two days!"

"Two days? What did I miss at school? Is my mom okay?" Logan worried and tried to sit up before Kendall lay him back down.

"It's fine. You're mom knows what happened, she knows you're here and she's fine. You need real rest." Kendall answered.

Logan was about to say something before he noticed bruises and cuts on Kendall's arms, neck, and face. "K- Kendall... What happened to you?" he cried.

"David came after me after you passed out, and the past two days. It's fine, I'll be okay, don't you worry."

Logan gasped. "It's okay? It's not okay! I don't want to wake up every day knowing my boyfriend has been beaten."

"Just go to sleep, it's already eleven at night." Kendall leaned and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "Fine."

xX

_"Kendall? Where are you?" I yelled throughout the darkness of the night sky._

_The only response was a high pitched shriek, and it was noticeable that it wasn't far away either. I heard footsteps until someone stopped behind me. I tried to run, it was useless. I turned around for an unknown reason which I didn't even understand. There stood a black figure that was too far in the darkness to make out who it was._

_"Ah, Logan, Logan, Logan." _

_"James?" I questioned._

_The figure chuckled and took a step closer. It __**was **__James. "Took you long enough to figure it out, didn't it?"_

_"What did you do to Kendall?" _

_"You know there's this thing called a knife. It comes in handy when someone betrays you. Then, you know, Kendall betrayed me. And in went the knife through his soft chest. Goodbye Kendall." James laughed._

_The tears started pouring out of my eyes. "No! No, why? Please no!"_

_"Oh poor little helpless Logan, it's too late now." James stroked my cheek and put his lips to my ear. "But I still have the knife, and you are bugging me right now."_

_"Please, I'll do anything James. Anything!" I cried on the top on my lungs._

_"That's cute of you." he took out his knife and held it against my chest. "It still has his blood on it, you know."_

_I looked down to see James ready to throw the knife into my chest. It still had Kendall's blood on it. _

_Suddenly, James moved the blade toward my cheek and pushed the blade in and traced something in my skin. "Now it'll always say pain on your cheek. Too bad you won't be here long enough to see it." he continued. "Unless you really want to, don't you?"_

_I nodded without thinking and James pulled our faces closer together. "Just look into my eyes and you'll be able to see it perfectly." I nodded again and we stared into each other's eyes._

_"You love my hazel eyes, don't you?" James whispered, his warm breath pressing against my other cheek. "Y- yeah."_

_He brought us closer together until his plump lips pressed against mine. I was caught up in the moment until I felt a sharp pain in my chest. James pulled us apart to give me the chance to see the knife through my chest._

_"Works every time, babe."_

* * *

**I hope you can catch on what is happening at the end, if you can, props to you. R&R? **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **I just realised how weak the beginning of this chapter is, wow. But there wasn't any other way. And I also wanted to tell you my brothers stole the laptop and read this chapter. Very awkward, I was crying. They made fun of it.

And I know I haven't updated in a forever, but it just takes so much time and it takes a few days to write a chapter. Better ideas every day.

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Big Time Rush. I wish I did, but I don't. So it kind of sucks right now.**

* * *

Logan rose up from the bed he was in and started to hyperventilate uncontrollably. He felt the pain in his chest, the scar on his cheek. Kendall was surely dead, and Logan was in heaven. He knew it.

"Logan?" a familiar voice said from behind him. "Are you okay?"

He slowly turned around to see Kendall staring at him with wide eyes and a concerned look took over his entire face. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry."

"Logan, what are you sorry for?"

"It's my fault James killed us, and now we're in heaven." Logan held his hand against Kendall's cheek and kissed it. "This is it."

Kendall pushed away and chuckled a little. He stared into Logan's innocent eyes for a little bit. Logan wasn't joking around, he was being serious.

"Logan, we aren't dead. Did you dream that?" Kendall reached over to Logan's arm and pinched him.

"Ouch! Don't do that!" Logan whined. "Can we just go out today?"

"The fair is open. They have roller coasters, haunted houses, rides, games, and food. Are you up for it?"

Logan nodded. "Let's go."

xX

Logan looked above his head and was face and face with the tallest roller coaster he had ever seen. And he wasn't going to lie, he was scared.

"What is this?" Logan questioned.

"It called the Leviathan. It's three hundred and six feet tall; it goes as fast as 148 kilometers an hour; it has an eighty degree drop, and it is five thousand four hundred and eighty-six feet long." Kendall said proudly. "You excited?"

Logan shivered a bit. "Not really."

Kendall latched onto his arm and pulled Logan into the line. "It'll be fun."

He smiled at Kendall and looked at his feet. Logan never told anyone about his fear of heights. He could barely handle a 70 foot tall roller coaster. That definitely meant he could never handle a 306 foot tall roller coaster. And he was skinny. What if he flew off or something? It was possible.

"Next two." the operator pointed at us and then the cart they were supposed to go to.

We walked over to our seats and as Kendall locked him-self in, Logan stopped and stared. "We only get this lap thing?" Logan said, point towards it.

"Logan, it's strong. It'll keep you in. We are going too fast for you to fly out; the pressure will keep you safe."

Logan was reluctant at first, but when Kendall gave him a heart-warming smile, he sat right next to him. Kendall helped him get locked in, and it seemed like the ride automatically started after that.

"I don't want to do this anymore, Kendall!" Logan cried. "I'm afraid of heights, and I'm too scared!"

Kendall gave him a friendly smile. "Babe, I'll be right here for you, from the first drop, to the last."

xX

Logan and Kendall were back from the park while Kendall was on the phone with someone. Logan was awkwardly staring at the ground and occasionally turned towards Kendall.

Just when he thought the silence would never end, Kendall got off the phone and spoke. "We're going to James' house."

Logan stopped and remembered his dream. He stood there wide eyed while shaking his head in fear. "Are you okay Logan?"

"I feel sick, sort of." Logan lied.

"Come on, we can get medicine at his house."

Logan pulled on Kendall's arm. "No, we're going home."

Logan was just too scared to face James again. He knew what had happened was just a dream, but it all seemed so real. And it happened frequently that the feelings people had in Logan's dreams were often becoming true.

What if James actually was going to do that? The first impression that he had on James in the beginning didn't help at all with this situation. Even though he had told him not to be scared to get with Kendall, that conversation might have made James think twice.

But what could he do about it? Not much. Just try to avoid him until he became comfortable again.

"No," Kendall pulled back, "we're going to James house."

Logan tried to pull Kendall and get out of his grip, but he was too weak to get out. Kendall dragged the angry Logan down the street and off to James' house. He had absolutely no clue why Logan was refusing to go. He wasn't too worried about it.

He just wanted to not leave Logan alone because his mom wasn't home. By bringing him, he could help him feel better and he wouldn't be bored. He would have him, James, and Carlos to talk to and hang out with.

Once they got to James' house, he pulled Logan into James' house. Logan went straight for the living room and plastered himself on the couch beside Carlos.

"Hey, Logan!" Carlos spoke. "Want a corndog?" Logan managed to understand Carlos, considering his mouth was stuffed full of corndogs.

"Sure buddy." Logan said, reaching toward the plate of corndogs sitting on the coffee table in front of them.

In the room next to Carlos and Logan, James and Kendall stood together. "What's up with him?" James questioned. "He's been avoiding me all week." Kendall sighed and started pacing. "I honestly don't know.

He stopped in front of James and whispered, "All I know is that he had a bad dream that me and him were killed by someone who sounded like you, and he was fighting with me, I mean physically fighting, not to come down to your house."

"We have to sort this out, but in the mean time, let's just go make Carlos smile by eating corndogs." James nodded and walked into the living room with Kendall.

xX

"Good night, Logie." Kendall quickly fell asleep in his bed.

Logan was yet again sleeping at Kendall's house because of the idea by James for them four to have a group sleepover at Kendall's. And of course Kendall agreed probably because he knew something was up.

But Logan was just tired and needed some sleep. And in a snap, all the bad thoughts rushed out of his head and he fell asleep immediately.

xX

_"Why are you letting him do this to me Logan?" a voice echoed through my head. "Why aren't you helping me? I thought you loved me."_

_I ran in the complete darkness, search for the voice that was speaking to me. It was so familiar. It seemed to be coming from the direction that had a faint light._

_Once I got there, I saw a figure. It slowly approached me and I saw that behind them, someone was tied up in a chair, screaming for help. Their lips were moving, I just couldn't hear anything. They were completely helpless._

_"Who do you have?" I demanded for an answer. _

_The man let out a small chuckle before appearing behind me and softly whispered into my ear. "I'll just show you."_

_They walked over to the chair and pushed it closer to me. Time was going by so slowly, and there was complete silence other than the squeaking of the chair coming close to me._

_Once they were sitting right in front of me, my eyes bulged. I knew who it was, and I had pain in my heart. It hurt too much to look. _

_So I just fell on the ground, crying. It was Kendall._

_"Logan, do something!" Kendall screamed at me._

_James slapped Kendall and I screamed. "Shut up, Kendall!"_

_I got enough courage to stand up and kick James in the shin. He turned around fast and showed me his knife. "What did you just do?"_

_"Nothing, I did nothing! I'm sorry!" I pleaded for help, even though I knew all hope was lost._

_James laughed at me. He brushed the hair out of my face. "Poor little helpless Logan, it's too late now. You made a big mistake babe. Let's just forget it, okay?"_

_I nodded my head helplessly as James finally walked away from me, back to Kendall. I looked down at my shoes and sighed. Again was I so close to being murdered by James. _

_Then I heard a cry. I looked up and I saw Kendall on the ground, dead. James stood above him, smiling at his own work. Tears started to stream down my face and a sniffled quietly. But James heard me and told me to come to him._

_Of course I listened, I had no other choice._

_"Oh, you poor thing." James rubbed loving circles on my back. "Too bad you'll be joining him."_

_He threw me down next to Kendall, and I wrapped my arms around Kendall's waist. There was no point in trying. I had already lost the game. _

_I felt a sharp pain go through my back and I looked down to see a knife being removed from my body. I suddenly felt light headed and dizzy. Everything was blurry and it seemed like everything was echoing through my mind._

_"Good bye, Logan." James chuckled._

_I heard the footsteps of James walking away and somehow, my anger gave me enough strength to get up and go after him._

_I stumbled while getting up. I grabbed the knife on the ground next to me and Kendall and started running after James. But right when I could have done it, he turned around and pinned me against the wall._

_"You really thought you could beat me Logan?" he tightened his grip. "I won this round. I always win, and I thought you already knew that?"_

_"Why do you have to be like this James? What did we ever do to you?" I questioned, gasping for air._

_"It's not what he did, it's what you did. Ever since you came to LA, Kendall has paid attention to you. He treats me now like I'm not even his friend. He was my friend first. But you had to get all friendly with him and steal Kendall away from me. So if I can't have him, you can't. Nobody can have Kendall. You ruin everything. You both deserve to die anyways. Kendall betrayed me and chose you over me, his lifetime friend. You are just a load of shit, I hate you." James tore of my shirt and stabbed me once again. He pulled out the knife and dragged me back over to Kendall._

_He threw me next to him and I wrapped my arms around him. "Good luck with having fun with each other now."He walked away and I stared until he was gone._

_"I'm sorry I failed you Kendall. I love you." I started bawling and realised that Kendall was already dead. He was gone and couldn't hear me. _

_The last thing I remember was someone kissing my cheek and Kendall's voice. "I love you too."_

* * *

**I really hope you guys like this one. It's all over the place, but I loved writing the last part! R&R!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: It's been 3 months since I last wrote any story on here. Mainly because my computer sort of kind of broke. And I got writers block. That never helps. But I just remembered what I drafted out for the 6th chapter of this.**

**So, I hope you guys like this. Enjoy.**

**Also, it's really super short, but I wanted to post something. You've waited since September. Here you go.**

* * *

Logan woke up in a panic to find himself sprawled across the floor he had been sleeping on. It seemed like last night's dream was the longest – and scariest – dream he had lately.

Nothing was working for him. He had tried to forget about James in his dreams. He tried to remind himself that in reality, James wasn't trying to hurt him. In fact, James seemed hurt that Logan wasn't accepting his invite to be his friend.

It's not like he didn't want to be friends with James, because he did. It's just that sometimes James acted a bit fishy around Logan. That is what made him frightened.

He just decided he would go into the kitchen and make himself some warm milk.

Logan stood up and walked out of the living room towards the kitchen. When he turned the corner, he heard a noise, and noticed he wasn't the only one awake.

"Who's awake?" someone said. He knew that voice.

It was James.

Logan awkwardly stepped into the kitchen and took the seat beside him.

"Hi," Logan whispered, looking down at him own lap.

When he looked up, James was looking at him. "I made an extra glass of warm milk, cause I just kind of thought I would wake someone up." He paused. "I guess I did. Do you want it?"

Logan nodded and reached out for the milk James held in his hands.

"Listen, I know you've been having those weird dreams lately-"

Logan raised his head fast enough for him to get whiplash. "Who told you about that?"

"Kendall did." he replied.

Logan was shocked. Why would Kendall tell James about his dreams when he specifically tried to get across that he didn't want anyone to know? He thought he could trust Kendall with things like that. Obviously not.

Nobody actually understood how he felt. They probably just thought that he was being crazy.

But then it hit him. He wasn't dreaming anymore. This was all about to come true wether he liked it or not.

"Get away from me James," Logan pleaded.

"What are you talking about?!"

"I said get away from me! Don't hurt me!" Logan screamed, with notable fear in his voice.

James didn't want to scare Logan any more than he already was. He started to slowly back away and raise his hands in the air.

But Logan looked so cute and innocent. He couldn't hold back any longer.

James lunged towards Logan, sending him to lay back against a wall. Logan was crying out a river, screaming and swatting at James to get off of him. James locked him against the wall until Logan finally gave up.

When Logan finally calmed down, James wrapped his arms around his waist and leaned in closer towards him. Logan started to cry again. "Stop, please just stop!"

To shut him up, James quickly decided to press his lips against Logan's. Although Logan fought against it, James finally got what he wanted.

**_Control._**

When he released, he whispered to Logan, "If you tell anyone I did this, Kendall's gonna get it."

And with that, Logan ran back to his bed and acted like nothing happened.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I know I updated yesterday. But yesterday's chapter was too short and I really feel like I owe you all something. I mean, I left this story, or I guess the whole website unattended for a long 4 months, almost 5 actually.**

**I'll try to update as much as I can but the fastest I can get is every two weeks. But it's still something. So I really hope you all understand that I haven't forgotten about this story, it's just that I've been having computer problems.**

**Anyways, enough of me blabbering. Just enjoy chapter 7!**

* * *

Kendall slowly opened his eyes and yawned as he awoke from his slumber. He turned his body towards Logan. As soon as he did, Kendall's eyes opened wide with fear.

Logan's whole body was pale and flushed out. He was breathing heavily, and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked panicked.

Kendall crawled up beside Logan, and placed his hand on his bare shoulder, causing Logan to flinch. "Logan, what's wrong?"

He waited a few seconds after Logan completed avoided the question. He believed Logan was completely unaware of his surroundings. Over and over again, he continued the whisper into the cold air, "I've got to get out of here, help me get out."

Logan suddenly whipped his eyes toward Kendall. He spoke with a raspy and frightened voice, "You can't be trusted. What are you doing here? Get away from me!"

"Logan, calm down. It's Kendall, you're safe with me. There is nothing to worry about," he spoke calmly.

As soon as he said that, Logan's frightened look went away, and he blinked a few times. His eyes were now back to normal, but the fear came back.

Then, he just started crying. The tears poured out of eyes like Niagara Falls, and he lay down face first on the ground. With a muffled voice, he said, "Kendall, I'm so scared."

"You don't have anything to be scared of anymore Logie. I thought we made that clear before."

Logan looked up at Kendall with a frown on his face. "But you don't understand. Yes I do."

"Well then, why are you scared now?"

Logan stood up and leaned against the wall with one leg and sighed. He buried his face into his hands. "That's the problem Kendall. I can't tell you. If I do, well I can't even tell you what will happen."

"There's nothing I can do then." Kendall stood up and took hold of Logan's hand. "But if it gets to be too much, remember you can always talk to me about it. Now, let's go. I know a café down the street and we can have breakfast there."

Logan and Kendall walked into the living room where James and Carlos were sitting. James had a smirk planted on his face, where as Carlos looked more frightened than anything.

"Where you guys going?" questioned James.

"The café." Kendall said blandly. "See you guys at school Monday."

James quickly stood up and reached his hand out to Logan's shoulder. "Wait, can me and Carlos talk to Logan?" he asked.

"Sure. I'll just wait out front." Kendall said as he stepped out onto the porch, closing the front door behind him.

Logan then turned over to James and Carlos, who were patiently waiting for him over by the couch. He slowly started to walk over to them. When he finally got close enough, James smiled.

"Logan, have a seat," he invited, while forcing him down on the couch beside Carlos.

He looked over at Carlos who gave him a shy smile and mouthed, "Hopefully it'll turn out okay." Logan nodded and looked up at James.

"You didn't tell him did you?"

"No, I didn't," Logan promised, hiding his face from seeing James.

James let out a chuckle and leaned in closer to Logan. He pressed his hand against Logan's cheek making Logan let out a cry. That made James smile. "Take off your shirt, Logan," he demanded.

Logan obeyed James and did as his was told. He took off his shirt and set it on the couch behind him.

A few tears were starting to come out of his eyes as soon as James reached over to the coffee table beside him to grab a freshly sharpened knife. When he had it in his grasp, he turned back to Logan.

He started to trace a straight line from top to bottom on the left side of Logan's chest. The knife cut straight through his skin, and the dark red blood dripped down his chest as Logan cried in pain.

"James, why are you even doing this to him? He doesn't deserve all of this!" Carlos screamed.

"Carlos, shut-up!" James demanded.

"If you stopped doing this to Logan, maybe I would!"

James became infuriated at that comment. He dropped the knife, pushed Logan back on the couch, and pinned Carlos against the wall.

"If this little twat didn't decide to barge into our lives all of a sudden, I would've been with Kendall. It's not fair! He just came to our school. He doesn't deserve Kendall's love if he's just been here for a week! I do! I've known Kendall since elementary school!"

"James, you know what Kendall has been through the past few years! Have you ever taken the time to wonder if Kendall is actually starting to feel the slightest bit happier now? Because Logan came into his life?"

Out of nowhere, James harshly punched Carlos on his cheek. Carlos returned it to James. They just continued to hurt each other afterwards.

"Logan, run while you can!" Carlos yelled over their fight.

Logan quickly put his shirt back on, grabbed his jacket, and ran out the door in a panic. When he got outside, he leaned over on his knees gasping for air. He completely forgot that Kendall was outside waiting for him so they could go to the café.

Logan fell down to the ground, trying to get air back into his lungs. His throat felt like it was bleeding, and it seemed so hard for him to keep air in his lungs. He was breathing too heavily.

Kendall ran over to him and helped him back up. "Oh my god, what happened? You look hurt!"

Once he got Logan to breathe normally again, they could hear the loud amount of noise James and Carlos were making because of their fight.

"What are they doing in there? Should I go in and check?"

"No, its fine, they're wrestling. They dragged me into it and I kept losing and got really tired," he lied.

Kendall looked worried. "Are you sure, though? It sounds really bad in there."

"I'm sure they'll be fine."

"Whatever, let's just go already."

* * *

When Logan and Kendall arrived at the café, Logan couldn't stay focused. He felt like someone was watching his every move and waiting to lunge out and take him away. He felt paranoid.

Once they were done eating, he tried to rush back home, but Kendall stopped him. "Why are you leaving so soon? There's nothing to worry about. Do you want to go to the park?"

"Uh, well, um, sure why not?" Logan agreed.

They reached the park and they sat down on a bench beside the swings.

"Wait here, I'm gonna get us some ice cream," Kendall said standing up and walking over to the ice cream cart.

Logan patiently waiting for Kendall. He looked around at all the kids. He was jealous. They all looked so carefree and like they were worrying about nothing. They could have fun without thinking about the bad.

He didn't let his anger take him over. Kendall came back with two drumsticks and sat down close to Logan. "Now that we're settled, what's bugging you?"

Logan gave up and sighed. He knew that Kendall would continue asking about it until he got an answer.

"Can you keep a secret?" asked Logan.

Kendall smiled. "Of course I can."

"You probably won't believe me when I tell you what happened, but I know I need to tell you," Logan started. "Last night, I woke up really early. When I went downstairs, James was standing there. He brought me outside. He started talking about how he knew about my dreams I've been having. Then out of nowhere..." Logan swallowed hard.

"What?"

He paused. "He just started to kiss me. He had his arms wrapped around my waist so I couldn't move. Then when he stopped, he said that if I told anyone about it that he would kill you."

Kendall stayed silent but continued to stare into Logan's eyes. That was frightened for both of them. Kendall just didn't know what to say, but Logan didn't think that was why he wasn't speaking.

"You don't believe me do you? I knew you wouldn't ever believe me. It sounds stupid, but it happened!"

Kendall pressed his finger against Logan's lips. "Stop. I do believe you. I just... I just don't know how to reply to something like that."

Logan frowned at Kendall's confused face. He didn't know how to make him feel better. Kendall always made him feel better, not the other way around. This was just too much for him to even cope with.

Kendall picked up his backpack from the grass and started to put his things back into it.

"Wait where are you going, Kendall?" Logan questioned.

He frowned at Logan. "I just remembered my mom needed me home early today. We have to go out somewhere. She doesn't want to be late, so I have to get going now."

"Was it something I said?" he worried.

Kendall pressed his lips against Logan's for a few seconds. When he released, he said, "I'm sorry."

With that, Kendall ran out of the park, leaving Logan sitting alone on a bench. He sadly stayed on the bench and finished his ice cream. When he was done, he started to walk back home alone confused as to what he had said or done wrong.

Once he arrived at his house, he stayed in his room the rest of the day. He didn't eat or drink, he just lay down on his bed thinking about Kendall. He was just scared for him. He didn't want him getting hurt.


End file.
